it takes a willingness to let go in order to fly.

this mantra has been on repeat in my mind recently.

exactly two months ago today i made the scariest decision of my life and left a well-paying job with benefits, a consistent paycheck and stability. i left a successful seventeen year career, not knowing what the future held for me but full of hope and dreams of a new way of being.

i’ve worked and taken care of myself since i was a teen. i’m the kind of person that stays for a long time…at a job, in a relationship…out of loyalty, but also the need to feel a sense of security. the need to know what to expect. the need to feel in control.

i’ve spent my life creating a sense of security and stability because it was something i didn’t have when i was young. i held on to relationships, jobs, situations because they were familiar, i knew what to expect.

we choose comfort over change, even when that comfort is unbearable, toxic and is holding us back.

we make this choice because our greatest fear is not knowing.

our greatest fear is…

rejection

failure

not being liked

not being good enough

that somehow we won’t survive

we believe the lies…

we carry these lies with us – pack them in a bag when we are young and bare their increasing weight and burden over the years as we acquire more lies, more criticisms, more judgements towards ourselves. maybe they come from us, maybe we capture the words and thoughts from others, grab them from their mouths and store them in our hearts until we no longer know the truth of who we really are.

these lies become our truths

we learn early on that standing in the greatness of who we are makes us self-absorbed, unapproachable and selfish.

so we learn to comply, to stay “comfortable”, to be quiet, to bury our dreams

i will no longer believe the lies

i’m unpacking false truths,  living in a space of discomfort, moving through the fear

claiming my greatness

some days the fear is so thick it’s like being in quick sand – feeling a restriction in my chest, a slow sinking, a desperation to go back to a place that is comfortable.

paralyzed

on these days i keep my eyes on my dreams, a steadfast focus on why i am here and where i am going.

i take a deep breath and tell myself

“don’t believe the lies”

it may take time for that paralyzed feeling to subside, but it always does

the only thing to fear is fear itself…

comfort is an illusion, living a life of purpose and meaning is truth

who are we not to be the greatest versions of ourselves?

so i say to you…

you are capable of more. you are greater than this.

claim your greatness

let go and fly…

people will resent you. they will tell you lies to stop you from moving forward, but they are stuck in their own quicksand, desperate to hold you back for fear of being left behind.

let them go…

unpack your bag of lies

live the life you’re meant to live, the life you choose to live,  not the life you think you have to live.

“living the life that cries to be lived from the depth of our being frees up our energy and vitality. we benefit and everyone around us benefits.” deborah adele

this task won’t be easy. it will shake you to the core. make you question why you left that place of comfort. you will have to let some things go. things, people, stories you’ve held on to for quite some time…

it will take trust, faith in yourself and the willingness to sit with discomfort but once you let go – doors will open and there will be space and you will see clearly that everything you’ve been longing for is on the other side of fear.

i’ll see you on the other side.

Much love,

Shawnee

photos taken at the salton sea by my beloved husband whom encourages me every day to claim my greatness.