cherries and choosing to love ourselves

it’s been months since i’ve written on my blog. i’ve been saying the reason for my lapse in writing and spending time doing the creative things i love and am passionate about is because life has just been too busy and has gotten “in the way” but the truth is, i’ve been stuck. stuck in a situation that i haven’t been happy in around people who are unhappy. all of my life i’ve been sensitive to the energy of others and even though i strive to see the best in people and have a passion for helping others see the best in themselves, not everyone wants to or chooses to be happy. over the past several months i’ve acknowledged the impact being in this negative environment has had on my own personal well-being. going into a negative environment every day has begun to impact my relationships with my loved ones, my energy level and my ability and desire to care for myself. here’s what i’ve learned about unhappy people, they thrive on being unhappy and often times want others to be unhappy with them – misery loves company. they don’t want to see others succeed – when they feel stuck and stagnant in their lives, it’s threatening to them to see others thrive and grow. my challenge has always been that i want to be liked and am sensitive to the words and actions of others.

lately i’ve been reminding myself of this quote…

“remember how open, peaceful and loving you attempt to be, people can only meet you as deeply as they’ve met themselves.” Matt Kahn

i’ve been reminding myself of these words in moments when i allow myself to feel hurt by others attitudes or negative energy towards me, or when i question my self-worth or “likeableness” based on someone’s opinion of me.

we can’t expect to be liked or loved by someone who deep down is not able to love themselves first and we are not able to truly meet someone in a place of depth and love if we don’t love ourselves.

the lesson: stay open and loving but don’t take others lack of openness or negative energy personally. choose love but always put self-love first.

here’s where action comes in…we can’t change people – they have to want to change themselves…but, we can choose our circumstances in life. we can choose whether we put ourselves in situations every day where we are around negative people or in negative environments. not one of us is stuck…even though it may feel that way…we always, always, always have a choice.

i’m choosing to practice self-love. i’m choosing to spend time only with people who lift me up and have a common desire in life to grow & evolve. i’m choosing to make some changes in my life that bring me back to who i am and what i want. i’m choosing to replace the feeling of being stuck- the feeling of fear with fearlessness.

speaking of self-care…

part of my “coming back to myself” is making more time for nourishing my body. i picked up these incredible cherries from the farmers market and just can’t get enough of them. they’re bold and beautiful! cherries really are a wonder fruit. i love cherries…this is why you should love cherries too.


  • they’re loaded with anti-oxidants
  • they’re a natural anti-inflammatory
  • they have natural melatonin which supports healthy sleep
  • they’re cancer-preventative
  • they reduce post muscle pain
  • they lower the risk of stroke
  • they reduce pain and inflammation from arthritis
  • they’re delicious and nutritious!

be bold, let go of others negativity, spend time with people who lift you up. change your situation. practice self-care. set yourself free. love yourself. eat a bowl of cherries.

much love, Shawnee



12 replies »

  1. “deep calls unto deep…”

    love those luscious cherries….

    luminous portraits by tim, “the man behind the camera”

    thank you shawnee – what a feast, what a refreshing drink!


  2. That was a lovely blog post Shawnee! Honest and personal and it really resonated with me, as I’ve been struggling with similar issues this past season. Brought on by my husband being diagnosed with cancer. I let fear take over and to a degree lost myself… He’s fine now and I’m slowly returning and hope to be able to write again soon, too! Take care dear one!


    • Thank you for reading and for sharing about your experience Tove. I understand the fear that takes hold when a loved one is diagnosed with cancer as my mom was just diagnosed a year ago and there were many moments of feeling stuck, incredibly fearful and frozen in life. I’m glad to hear your husband is doing better and that you are coming back to yourself and your writing. Sending love and blessings.


  3. Love your post Shawnee!  Am looking forward to getting together with you and family whenever it is convenient. Love you, Steve


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